What If..

This is crazy! What am I doing!? Not only have I never taught a classroom full of kids, but none of them speak English! So many things could happen! These situations haunt my half awake dreams at night.  I might eat something that I thought was chicken, but definitely wasn't and get sick and die. I might try and speak mandarin and accidentally offend a ninja and get a throwing star in my jugular, and die. 

But MOST of all I am in a country ruled by a communist government. All my life I've had problems with following rules, especially ones I thought were unjust or just stupid. And I've always found a way to bend the rules just enough to where I could get what I want and my superiors could stand it. But to be fair, my face hasn't ever been threatened by a firing squad like it will be in China. I'm not saying I like to break rules, I just like doing things my way. I'm an American, what can I say? 

I hate to admit it, but the unknown scares me. I've always thought of myself as an openminded, educated gal that truly believes in the spirit of YOLO. But I am not, I am scared. 

I want to leave because I am so excited, but I also want to leave because I am freaking myself out with what might happen. I just want to get there and face my ninjas. 

Night y'all.